Pregnant and I Know It

Today I heard "Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO on the radio and I started to sing along, until I realized that there is absolutely NOTHING sexy about my current condition. I'm swollen, bloated, moody, emotional and downright crazy. So then I started changing the lyrics in my head and laughing like the crazy person I am while driving down the freeway. So this goes out to all my pregnant, formerly pregnant and soon-to-be-pregnant friends.*

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When I waddle by, I feel so huge I want to cry
When I try to sleep, back pain, heart burn and I have to pee, yeah
This is how I roll, midnight cravings, outta control,
So wide out front, I can't reach my toes
And my moods change FAST, that's how it goes.


Whoa, Look at that belly! Whoa, look at that belly! Whoa, look at that belly!
GET THE KID OUT!

When I lay down to rest, this is what I see
Ripples from thrown elbows and kicking knees,
I got elastic waist-band pants and I ain't afraid to show it

I'm pregnant and I know it.

When I'm at the store, old lady asks how long before
I say fifty days, and her wrinkled old jaw falls down a ways
Got the need to clean, mess up my house and I get mean
Try to touch the baby bump without askin'
And I'm gonna give your face a real good smackin'

Whoa, Look at that belly! Whoa, look at that belly! Whoa, look at that belly!
GET THE KID OUT!

When I lay down to rest, this is what I see
Ripples from thrown elbows and kicking knees,
I got elastic waist-band pants and I ain't afraid to show it

I'm pregnant and I know it.

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(Original Song: Sexy and I Know It by LMFAO)

*For your own psychological well-being, please do not picture me singing this, wearing a Speedo.